A good day...

and I'm sitting here in the middle of the night, feeling like I need to blog. I bought new curtains to match my new rug. I got a new rug to hide some old carpet stains because a new rug is cheaper than carpet for the whole house. I had Wayne, my sweet honey doer, paint an accent wall behind the tv. It looks awesome! Now, I want to find another accent wall in my house...maybe my bedroom? It feels good to make some changes!



I've also decided that it's okay to blog about the serious things. I was trying to keep a separate blog about our journey with Colton, but it's such a part of my everyday life, that I'm not good about writing here, and then writing there.... so it will be here. I'll save that blog for his letters home, if he writes letters home.



C has been in the hospital since Thursday afternoon. He's in a blocked room, meaning he is watched 24/7, for both suicidal and homicidal tendencies, as well as being hyper-sexual. Shocking. He's 12.


We also spent some time with a social worker today, who is building his psychological report. She feels strongly, he will never be normal. He's not capable of it. I asked her why all of a sudden C started doing the craziest things. He's always been a hard child to deal with, but this bizarre behavior has been getting progressively worse. She said RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) usually raises it's ugly head about now. Normal. Normal??????



So, it's looking a lot like C will not come home from one hospital stay to another. He's been very sexual there at the hospital, making all kinds of continual comments. Some of the other patients are complaining about his behavior. In my mind I say, YES! He's showing who he really is! In front of professionals!! And, it's not just sexual, it's defiance, lying, stealing. I'm grateful others can see what I see daily.



So, here's to changes in 2012. New carpet, new curtains, and new hospitals and new professionals. Seems strange to say them together like that. But, it's my life... and the simple things mingle with the hard, sad stuff.


My house is quiet without Colton. We have no stress. Kayli and Levi laugh a lot more. I have so much more time to do things I love, and we want to be together. I didn't realize with all the changes C has been making, just how much our family was having to change too. And not good changes.



So, the next few months will bring many changes to our family. We love C. But, we look forward to having him in a safe environment, where we don't have to take turns sleeping to keep ourselves safe. Where we don't have to keep all our kitchen utensils and medications locked in our closet. Eating with plastic at home isn't fun. We look forward to spending fun time together, with less stress.



Changes... I'm up for it!