I'd rather she sit on the fence....

than jump so quickly to the other side!





Wayne and I have spent years teaching our children. Honesty. Kindness. Trust. Virtue. We've taught them that they are important. We've tried hard to repair the souls that were hurt as little ones. We've tried hard to build up their self-esteem. We've let them know how important they are to us.



We've also instilled in them (or so I thought), that they are children of our Father in Heaven, and they each have a unique mission to accomplish here on earth. They have each been baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.



I've known many people who have children who chose not to go to church. I've known my friends to cry many tears over the choices of their children. When my kids were little, I used to pray hard that my children would not make those choices. We talked a lot through the years about "sitting on the fence". I heard that a lot growing up too. It's important to keep your standards, there is no gray area, there is no sitting on the fence. Live your standards and people will respect you.


Well... that was true for me. True for my friends. But in today's world, in our rated R society, I'm not sure it's true anymore. I'm not sure what I've taught my children all these years is enough.






Yesterday, I sat with my sweet daughter, my sweet husband, and a doctor... one who specializes in helping people communicate, understand each other, and learn to accept each other. And I listened, as my daughter said she wants to be like her friends. She wants to party, have sex, be normal. No fence sitting here.



Normal?????? This doctor knows our standards, he knows her choices are not what we want for her. He tried to let her know the path she is going down is going to come with hard consequences. He told her to really take some time and think about what she is doing, and what she will be giving up.




I hope she does take the time to think about consequences. She hates me right now, and I hope that too will change over time. I find myself letting her go. Distancing myself from her emotionally. I'm tired of being hurt. She has said such horrible things about me. Untrue, mean things. But how do I let go this beautiful young woman, who does have a special mission here on earth, that only she can do. Her patriarchal blessing is astounding, and by choosing what she is doing now, she is choosing NOT to accomplish all those things promised her. How can the world be calling her so loud? And, how can she listen? Why is that pull so hard for her to resist?





I hope that someday she will be strong. I hope that someday she'll decide that sitting on the fence is better than the side she's on. I hope that someday, she'll be able to teach her own children about honesty, kindness, trust, and virtue. I hope that someday, she'll decide that she's worth making good choices for. I hope someday she'll decide she does need a mom, and that hating her mom isn't nice. I hope someday, she'll be a woman of faith, of virtue, of kindness, of trust.







Fence sitter? Would be enough for me right now!